In episode 5 of Drunk Ex-Pastors (which you can listen to below) I sort of launch into this complaint about pets and pet-people that I want to qualify a bit. Because, you know, say a disparaging word about dogs these days and you’re liable to lynching.
Look, I had a dog growing up. I also had a mother who smoked two packs a day (at least when I was very young, she quit ages ago). Both of those facts had their effects on me, my home, my clothes, the way they smelled, etc. If you are a smoker (or live with one), your hair and clothing will reflect that reality, and so will your furniture, just like with a pet owner. In a word, they will smell different than they normally would, they will have more animal hair or fleas than they would otherwise, etc.
So rather than suggesting some conclusion, I’ll put forth a couple questions: Is it insensitive of non-pet-owners for us to point these things out? Is it hard-to-understand that, for some of us, there is little difference between being in an environment where a smoker lives and one in which there are multiple pets? Is it inconsistent to want smoking prohibited from indoor restaurants while thinking it’s perfectly normal for people to bring their (non-service) animals inside? And is “pet-ism” becoming the newest politically incorrect thought-crime?
I do have a soul, I swear. It’s just buried deep, deep down there. . . .
I think you need to define restaurant, and while you’re doing that, you’re going to have a difficult time convincing me that Starbucks is a restaurant.
I am referring to a place that serves hot food where people sit down and eat it. The Starbucks I was at the other day serves beer, wine, truffle mac and cheese, chicken flatbread, and lots of other dishes. It’s not a normal Starbucks.
So how do you feel about a person being in a normal Starbucks with “man’s best friend” vs being in your abnormal Starbucks?
And if you were to sit down in your Starbucks at a table, would you rather have a 4 year old sitting next to you, or a dog laying on the floor?
Haha, probably the dog! (Provided I can’t smell it)
I am both a non-smoker and a dog person. I do wish some smokers were more cognizant of the fact that we don’t smoke for a reason. Some of us don’t necessarily want your habit banned publicly, but we’d like you to at least ask us if we mind if you light up while we’re sharing space (maybe even refrain if we say, “You know, today I’m just not in the mood, so it’d be great if you laid off.”). And even when you guys get all eeeevangelical and hyperventilate about being all politically persecuted, some of us get it, but it’s those times I just want to say, “Mind if I relieve myself over your left shoulder? No? Well, now you know how I feel about your unwanted smoke wafting over mine. Dick.”
But as a dog person, I try to apply my experience as a non-smoker and think about those who have a mysterious grudge against one of the finest animal heaven ever produced. I make sure she doesn’t go for your crotch when you come over, even make her sit in the bathroom the whole time. I train her not to bark at you when you pass the gate. I side with you about her not being allowed in public places like beaches and hotels and restaurants. And what thanks do I get? You people make leash laws, as if my harmless goof ball would ever do anything to pester or harm you or your property. I’m being half facetious about leash laws. I know some of us suck at taming our beasts and ruin it for the rest, but when you appoint yourselves sheriff and bellow at me when I let her run free through the graveyard, I just want to blow smoke in your stupid face.