Such a finding is startling at first blush since Seattle is such a hyper left-leaning city, and everyone knows that the only non-Republicans who can possibly be said to love God are the even more right-wing Tea Partiers (and Seattle has, like, a total of seven of them). But then when you consider the fact that San Francisco is 87% gay — and if anyone despises the Man Upstairs more than normal Lefties it’s the abnormal (gay) ones — then the findings actually make a lot of sense.
But how was such a conclusion reached? Through extensive polling? By evaluation of technical census data?
Pish posh. Who needs all that sociology mumbo-jumbo? The conclusion that Seattle is a more godly city than San Francisco was reached by the simple fact that the Seahawks beat the 49ers in the big game. You see, if someone is a sports fan who also happens to invoke the Almighty concerning the things near and dear to him, then he surely would have been praying that his favorite team would prevail on Sunday night. And since Seattle prevailed, God must have had more petitioners in WA than in CA. Easy peasy.
You see, the Omniscient Creator of the heavens and the earth really, really cares about football (American football, I mean. Not that other “football” that all those swarthy folk play in countries like “Angola,” “Djibouti,” and “France.”), and his fandom slash America-centrism all but ensures that he will guarantee that the team whose fans implore his aid more fervently will be the team that succeeds in scoring more points and thereby win the game. I mean, what else has God got to do with his time, right?
Kidding and sarcasm aside, while it might trouble me slightly if God paid no attention whatsoever to the prayers of football fans for their team’s victory, the idea that God actually does care about such a thing might disturb me even more.